Where the Heart is
by XxNovellaxX
Summary: No longer Untitled...'sometimes I just wake up in the morning and say to myself, 'I want a do over.' Meredith tries to start her life over. What will it bring to her life? Alot more then you'd think.
1. Chapter 1

Tired

At the sound of her alarm clock, Meredith dreads even being awake before it even went off. It's only the day after. The day after Denny died, they day after Izzie quit the program, the day after her regret. Today, everyone will ask her if she is okay. And you know what she will do? Reply with her same old "I'm fine." routine, the words she will use so much it wont even seem like a real word anymore.

She groans, and slowly urges her legs to move. So, she gets up, takes a shower, which she takes a little longer time doing seeing as she leans her head against the tile and takes in deep breath. Motivating herself to get it together. That no matter the circumstances, she still had work. Still had patients who needed more looking after then she did at the moment. If that is even possible.

Down in the kitchen Meredith pours herself a cup of coffee to go. George is eating a bowl of cereal.

"Good morning," Callie says, cheerfully, while entering the room. Meredith smiles at her, downs her coffee, and pours another. _I don't know how anyone can be this cheering, this early in the morning. _Meredith says sitting up on the corner of the counter.

"Any surgery's this morning?" George asks both Women, as he gets up and rinses out his bowl.

"Not that I know of," Meredith says getting off the counter now and filling her cup back up and snapping on a lid.

"I don't until this afternoon, why you want to scrub in?" Callie gives George a knowing look. He just smiles at her.

"Well, we are going to be late." Meredith states, taking her coat from the hook. "I'm just going to go say goodbye to Izzie, meet you in the car." she adds, leaving the two alone in the Kitchen.

Clean, dressed and now with her body full of Caffeine, Meredith is in the locker room waiting for rounds to get up and rolling. It was weird leaving Izzie home alone. She wasn't even awake when she left, well not that she knew of. It was even weirder to not have her usual chocolate muffin with her coffee. Guess it's something she is just going to have to get used to.

"Okay interns..." Bailey seemed out of the ordinary this morning. Everyone looked at her strangely. "O'Malley, Karev, your going to have to pick up were... Izzie left off." George and Alex just nod there heads and collect the stack of charts Bailey was holding and left the locker room. Christina and Meredith sat on the bench in front of her, waiting for orders.

"Christina, your in the pit, we seem to have a lot of people down there this morning." Surprisingly, Christina left without a whine or a whimper. "And Meredith?" She asked, instead of her usual command.

"Yes Dr. Bailey." Meredith asked quietly.

"You don't mind assisting Shepherd in surgery do you?" She gave Meredith a knowing look.

Meredith didn't like the look so she didn't protest. "No, should I be?" She decided to question.

"No reason, and when that's over, I need you to run a few labs."

"No problem..." Meredith got up to leave.

"And Meredith?"

She turned around slowly, the physically and especially the emotional tiredness showing in her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Bailey asked already knowing that her intern was going to flat out lie. She just wanted to know the extent of what was wrong.

"I'm fine." Meredith plastered on a fake smile. She then turned around and walked out of the locker room. Bailey just stood there for a minute or so. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and mentally scolded herself for getting too attached to her interns.

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"Okay Mr. Stanton, Dr. Grey here just needs to run a few more tests, then, I don't see why you can't go home." Derek Shepherd informed. Meredith looked up from the patient's chart and smiled at Mr. Stanton. She completely avoided Derek's gaze..

"That sounds good." Mr. Stanton replied, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Okay, Let me run those test and I will be back in an hour." Meredith added and turned to leave.

"Hey Meredith, wait up." Meredith didn't stop walking, nor did she bother to turn around. She knew he'd just follow. "After you do those tests, do you want to have lunch with me?" He asked, skipping the part where he wanted to talk to her, but he assumes she got the gist of it.

"What about your wife?" Meredith inquired.

"..That wont be an issue." he stated, matter of factly. Meredith looked at him expectantly but got no answer. Her beeper went off.

"Fine, see you at lunch" she says while veering off the left and into the nearest elevator.

Meredith had to discharge a patient for Bailey before lunch and be reminded that she had to run a bunch of labs afterwards. Now, she was in line buying lunch, sort of dreading her time she was about to have with McDreamy. _I really need to stop referring him as that_, Meredith thought to herself as she paid for her salad and bottled water and turned around to surveillance the cafeteria for Derek. He was in a lone corner, just waiting as he looked over a chart.

"You coming to sit?" George asked as he walked up to her with his own lunch.

"Huh? Oh..no, I kinda promised Derek I would sit with him..." George could see her hesitation but didn't know the full extent of it.

"Well okay, see you later?"

"Yeah..."With that they went their separate ways.

Meredith slowly walked up to the table and sat down as if she's always done it. Derek looked up from his chart and smiled at her as if this was an ordinary ordeal. Both doctors ignoring the uncomfortableness in the pit of their stomachs.

Derek advanced first, "Hey, I didn't think you'd show."

"I had to discharge a patient.." Both nodded awkwardly and silence ensued. Derek set his chart aside and began to eat his lunch. Meredith just stared at her salad.

"You okay?" Derek asked, braking the now impregnated silence.

"I'm not that hungry."she stated, avoiding his gaze all together.

"Oh..."

"Well? You wanted to talk to me?"

"So...how's Finn?" Derek asked, leaping over the conversation that was about to be discussed and into an even uncomfortable one without meaning too.

"...I wouldn't know..." Was all she had to say.

"Oh...didn't work out?" Heavy relief. now setting in. She had left with Finn the night of the prom. Which is why Derek had assumed she was still dating the vet.

Meredith looked up at him for the fist time and stared at him. Not really wanting to say what she should say.

"He didn't want to play second fiddle." She replied bluntly. Derek looked away for some reason and stared at his hands. He knew what she meant, just didn't know how to counter it. "Look, If your not going to tell me what you wanted to tell me, I'm leaving, I have to check up on Izzie anyway. _Not that she'll be happy about it, _Meredith thought. He didn't say anything so she pushed her chair back and left him all alone with his thoughts.

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"Hey Izzie...you home? Pick up...well.."

"What? Izzie's weak voice finally came from the other line."

"Just seeing how you are..." Meredith said into the phone. She was currently on the elevator in the middle of doing the labs she promised Bailey.

"I'm fine...I guess."

"What are you doing?" Meredith asked, looking up at the floor numbers.

"...Nothing, I have nothing to do, Oh yeah, I cleaned your room, and my room, and Georges room...And the kitchen..and the living ro-"

"Yeah I get the point..."

"What about you?"

"Running labs, I have a lot since your...I'm sorry.

"It's okay...I brought it upon myself didn't I?" Izzie asked, still with a weak voice. Meredith didn't say anything. "It's okay, I know I did..." The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened.

"Ugh!" Meredith said into he phone as Derek appeared on the other side of the elevator door.

"What is it?" Izzie asked.

"Nothing..I have to go, see you at home."

Izzie sighed and replied dully, "alright see you." Meredith hung up and placed the phone in her lab coat. Derek stepped in and the doors shut. Meredith looked at the floor, Derek looking at the floor numbers.

"Who was that.?" he asked

"Izzie."

"How is she?"

"Holding up..."

"She's a tough girl..."

"Her Fiancé died!" Meredith burst out. Derek turned around and stared at her.

"Meredith..." Derek went to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Meredith was livid. She was angry at Derek, her mother, but mostly, was angry at herself. For letting all of this get to her.

"I'm tired Derek!"

"Of what?" he asked gently, giving her his look. This made her angrier

" I am tired of being on the donor list!" She screamed.

"What?"

"I... I'm tired of being second on the list, and frankly... I am running out of time."

**I already wrote a fanfic on this but I wanted to do another. I'm hoping this one is better then the last one. So, what do you think?**


	2. Chapter 2

It's time

Meredith sat in the living room. It's about one in the morning and she has to be up for five. The urge to get up and drink a shot of tequila is almost to strong to bare. She feels so lost. After the encounter in the elevator the day before she just seemed to float through the rest of the day in despair. She didn't know what else to say to him. She didn't know what else to do. She wanted out. She wanted to get out of the life she is currently in and start over. Wiping the slate clean.

She knew she couldn't though. Where would she finish her Internship? She wondered if there was any other hospital better then Seattle Grace. It would be significantly different working under someone eases authority. There would be new faces, new bosses and the way people do there thing... to get used to...

There was still Izzie and George to consider. She could just leave them the house...What about everyone else? Her family. Christina...Her "person" Meredith would have to get a new one... There was Alex...he may be an ass but he was still somehow a small potion of her family. Then there was Bailey and Dr. Webber... She'd miss everyone. How could she just get up an leave them?

She feels as if she could leave Derek behind. He is one of the main reasons why she wants out. If she left, there would be a better chance that she'd get over him. It's the fact the she sees him all day everyday that makes it hard. And when he looks at her...damn it's so hard to forget him, to just get over it and move on with her life. There was also her Mother. She couldn't leave her mother or bring her with her...wherever that is.

The soft sound of footfall on the stairs snapped Meredith out of her subconscious state of mind. It was Izzie. It's been only three days and Izzie still has the excuse to mope around. Izzie knows of the night of the prom. She weaseled it out of Meredith yesterday. Even though she feels sad and alone and depressed. She still likes to hear the gossip. She also knew there was something up with her friend and knew it would make her feel a little better to get it off her chest.

"What are you doing up at this hour?" Izzie asks, walking into the living room and sitting on the other side of the couch.

"Contemplating my life..." She said looking down at her Dartmouth T-shirt. The one Derek said she looks so good in.

"Yeah, I've been doing that a lot lately." Izzie says, tucking her knees into herself. Both woman sat in silence. Just enjoying the others company. Izzie let out a small sigh and looked around the living room. This would be one of those times where Izzie would open her mouth and say something sappy. Something Christina would counter with her strict "Izzie!". Of course, Meredith wouldn't mind. And it was Meredith who opened her mouth first.

"Izzie?" Meredith says quietly. She scratches her head, her honey colored hair all disheveled.

"M hmm?"

"Have you ever wished you could start over?...Like you could just get up one morning and say to yourself, 'I want a do over.'...?"

"Sometimes..." Izzie fell silent, somehow she knew where his was going. "I actually would think about where I would go, where is the best place anyway?"

"I donno." Meredith obviously didn't get what Izzie was inquiring.

"What about Maine?"

"What about it?" Meredith asked. She now had her head resting in her hand, elbow on the arm rest.

"It's nice up there..."

"You've been to Maine?"

"Yep! It's beautiful up there Mer, you'd like it." Izzie looked at Meredith, she could see the gears beginning to work around this implied advice. Izzie would be sad to see her best friend go, a member of her family leave the rest of them. But she knew that this is what Meredith needed. She needed a fresh start. Izzie could feel some tears coming on and willed them to stay back. She got up off the couch. Meredith didn't say anything. "Portland is nice. There are a few hospitals there..."

"I bet..." Meredith looked off into the darkness, thinking, pondering her next life changing move. She felt like a pawn on a chest board.

"Well, you have work in the morning...And I'm tired." Meredith got up off the couch, smoothing her hair out of her face. She smiled at her friend, silently thanking her for the nice chat. Izzie began to walk up the stairs and Meredith followed. They bot stopped outside there doors and looked at each other.

"Night, Iz."

"Night Mer." Izzie smiled sadly to herself and walked into the room and shut the door.

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Meredith woke up three minutes before the alarm. She yawned and stretched and got out of bed to take a shower. She threw her Dartmouth T-shirt onto the floor and walked to the mirror. She stared at reflection. What she saw was an over worked, overly tired and stressed women she hardly recognized. She can't even remember the last time she was happy...actually she could she just refused to think of it. If she did, she'd only feel even more depressed and sink deeper within herself.

She finally pulled her gaze from the mirror and turned on the faucet and stepped into the warm water of the shower. She could here the normal sounds of George and Callie getting ready for work, and the extra footsteps of Izzie outside her bedroom door. The blonde heard the shower going and walked down the stairs to the kitchen.

Meredith finished taking her shower she brushed her teeth and walked back into her room to find something to wear. The smell of her Lavender shampoo flowing through the air in her wake. She took a cranberry V-neck from her drawer and a pair of jeans and put them on. She then walked down to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

"Morning Mer," George greeted her with a smile. Meredith smiled back as not to show her lack of enthusiasm for the day ahead. Izzie gave her a look at the corner of her eye which she did not see. Izzie knew that eventually this house would not occupy the honey haired roommate. In one way or another, it was going to happened. And she made herself ready for the departure.

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George was in the pit today, Alex was with in the pit, strangely not with the She-Shepherd. He must have done something wrong to piss her off to be in the pit. Christina was with Callie in Surgery, what a great way to start off the day. And Meredith was with Dr Miranda Bailey. Nothing special going on yet today. Meredith hadn't seem either of the Shepherds today and welcome the relief of it. She didn't want to deal with anything but patients today.

"Mrs. Egan, this is Dr, Grey and she will be prepping you for te OR." Bailey said ti a middle aged dark hair women. She was about to have a heart transplant.

"Hello Mrs. Egan,"

"Please call me Kat, Mrs makes me sound **old**." Meredith smiled at that.

"Okay, we just need to get you onto this Gurney." Meredith said a few nurses entered the room. They helped her onto it. Olivia, one of the nurses placed a cap on Kat's head. They then wheeled her out of the room and into the nearest elevator.

"I've been waiting for almost a year now..." Kat says.

"Well now you finally get it." Meredith replies, smiling down at the women. Kat nods and smiles back. The elevator comes to a stop and the doors open. Derek and standing on the other side and steps aside. He looks at Meredith intently but she keeps her eyes straight ahead as they push Kat out of the elevator and down the hall and then into the OR

The mask is put over Kat's mouth and nose and she is told to count backwards from ten. Meredith is in the scrub room putting on her mask and washing up. When finished she enters the OR and a nurse helps her into her suit. Meredith stands at the other side of the table in front of Dr. Webber. He picks up the scalpel and begins to make the incision when the intercom buzzes.

"Is Dr. Grey in there?"

"Right here!" Meredith says through her mask. She finds this a bit odd. She's never been called out of an OR before.

"You have a call, It's urgent."

"Who is it?"

"Someone calling regarding your mother." Meredith hears the sharp clang as the scalpel Dr. Webber was holding falls to the floor. A nurse rushes over and removes Meredith's suit and Meredith leaves to room. Meredith high tails it to the nurses station and takes the receiver from the nurse behind the counter.

"Hello?"

"Meredith? I'm so sorry, but your mother just past away." Meredith let the receiver slip from her hand as she stood the in complete shock. No tears fell from her eyes, nor did a look of sadness etch a crossed her youthful face.

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She stood there a day later in the cemetery. No emotion showing on her face. Still no tears. Izzie and George stood on either side of her. Izzie had an arm hooked around Meredith's to comfort her friend. Everyone was there. Dr Webber looked a wreck, his wife letting him even though that was the women he had an affair with. Meredith's Father was there as well. Farther away from everyone else. He was alone. She saw a lone tear fall down his cheek. Still she didn't cry.

Meredith had hugged her father, and pretty much everyone. Getting a lot of pity stares. And after the funeral and the burial, Meredith Collected her mothers things that were at the nursing home and drove home. She told the others that she'd be home in a little while, that she had things she needed to take car off. They understood and went on home. Meredith sat in the driveway for a while when she drove in and parked. She stared at the house. Remembering that this was the house she grew up in. Finally, after a day and a half of repressing, she let the tears fall. She sobbed and didn't bother to wipe the tears from her aching eyes. She shook with sadness alone in the car for a while longer before wiping her eyes with her fingers and stepping out of the car. She slowly walked up the steps and opened the door. She heard the faint chatter of people in the kitchen but walked past that door and headed upstairs.

When she opened her door she found a suitcase lying on her bed. It was new. One of those ones you wheel around with a handle. She suddenly felt a presence in the room and she turned around to face Izzie.

"I hope it's big enough..." Izzie's voice cracked a little. Meredith finally realized that Izzie knew what she wanted. Izzie was letting her leave. "I packed it for you...so I guess it's big enough." Meredith saw a tear slip from her friends eyes and walked over to her, enveloping her in a hug.

"Oh Izzie..." Meredith said, feeling hot tears sting her eyes for the second time that day.

"I know you must...I want you to be happy, We all do."

"Where am I going to go?" Meredith asked letting go of her friend and going to sit on the bed.

"I got you a ticket..." Izzie sat down beside her.

"To where?"

"Maine..."

"Oh Izzie." Meredith said again. Her head went into her hands.

"I used your money...But I payed for the hotel until you find a place..." Meredith laughed a little. "I'm not rich!" Izzie then exclaimed. They both went silent.

" I'm going to have to talk to Webber..."

"Yeah..."

"I'm going to miss you...all of you."

"Me too, but It's time Mer. You need to get a fresh start...a do over if you will." Meredith looked up at her friend. She gave he a hug and Izzie got up to leave.

"Izzie?"

"Yeah?"

"What about the others?"

"I'll keep them occupied so you can make an easy escape." Izzie's voice cracked again. Meredith gave her a weak smile, her implied goodbye. She nodded and turned to her suitcase.

"It's time." She said to herself as she picked it up and walked to the door, waiting for the all clear.

**This chapter came fluently for me. I almost couldn't write it when I got to the middle, I just found out they are taking my great uncle off life support...Life is so short...please review...**


	3. Chapter 3

A Fresh Start

It was her composer she seemed to have a handle on for a while as she drove away from her family. She drove in a daze to Seattle Grace Hospital to resign from her Internship there, and be transferred into one in Portland Maine. She drove into SGH's parking lot and took a deep breath before getting out of the car and walking in. She took the elevator an finally found herself outside Dr. Richard Webber's Office. She took another deep breath before knocking on the door.

She heard the clearing of someone's throat and then Dr. Webber's voice on the other side

"Come in." Meredith walked into the room. Richard was sitting behind his desk, but his back was facing her. He turned around, "ah Meredith, I am so sorry about your mother.." He seemed pained by the sentence. "So, what did you come to see me for?"

"I got up this morning and decided I want a do over." Richard looked puzzled. Meredith sat down and continued. " I need a new start, I want a transfer..."

"I.." He knew there was no way he could change her mind. This was Meredith he was talking to. She was a Grey. "To where?" He finally asked as he massages his temples.

"Mercy Hospital in Portland..."She said, she had done her research.

"How soon..."

"Um, I was going to leave tonight...I have a flight at 6..." Richard sighed. This was so soon.

"Meredith..."

"I don't want to get into it...if you don't mind. I just want to leave as quietly as possible, no attention drawn...please Dr. Webber." she pleaded with her eyes and he sighed again.. He pressed the intercom and his secretary's voice was heard.

"Can you get Portland Maine, Mercy Hospital on the line?"

"What's this regarding?"

He hesitated and gave Meredith a last look to resign her wishes. He got no further then before and said, "The transfer of Dr. Grey's Internship."

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She sat in row 4b second class to Boston Massachusetts. Dr. Webber had arranged for a pick up to drive her to a Portland hotel. A long flight ahead of her. She felt tired as she sat in her seat by the window looking out. She's been in the air for only an hour but it seemed like much longer.

"I cannot believe I'm actually doing this." She says to herself.

"Running away?" A women said from a row next to her. She appeared to be in her late forties.

"I guess you could say that." Meredith replied, rolling her head to look at the other speaker.

The women chuckled, "So, what brings you from Seattle?"

"A life I want to start over. A re do as you will." Meredith quoted her friends very words. "What about you?"

I'm visiting my daughter in Kennebunk Maine, It's her birthday soon. You see, she would have come out herself but she's 6 month pregnant."

"Oh! What's the sex?"

"A boy, she's going to name him Skyler."

"That's a nice name."

"Yeah, she's had that named picked out ever since she was a little girl...I had her name picked out when I was young...Annabelle, It's beautiful isn't it?"

"It is."

"Do you have names?"

"Me? No...Not that I hadn't thought about it...I just don't see myself with child. I donno."

"Well, I see you as the mother type."

"Thank you..." _I guess..._ Meredith yawns.

"Don't do that!" the women says, "they are..." She then yawns herself, "contagious!" Meredith laughs. "I guess we are both tired." The women responds as she closes her eyes. Meredith takes that as the end of their conversation and closes her won eyes, rolling her head back towards the window. Soon sleep follows.

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Meredith woke up to a slight poke of her side. She opened her eyes and looked up at the women she had talked to before falling asleep.

"Tired huh? Well the plane is about to land. Thought I'd let you know, don't want the plane to take off with you still on it." Meredith smiled and rubber her eyes. She sat up in her seat and looked out as the plane descended. She was actually there, going through with it. The plans were set and mercy Hospital was waiting for her arrival tomorrow morning. It was now ten at night.

Meredith got off the plane and waited at baggage claim for her suitcase. Five minutes later she spotted it and walked outside the airport to look for her ride. She didn't see anyone with a sign with her name on it so she stood there for a while.

"I see you actually went through with this." The lady from the plane was standing on the curb next to her.

"I know, I am baffled myself." Meredith replied.

"Hey, I'm Maura," Maura stuck out her hand and Meredith shook it.

"Meredith."

"Nice to meet you Meredith...Well, here is my ride."

"It was nice meeting you."

"You too, and good luck wit your do over." Meredith smiled to herself and Maura got into the car that had pulled up in front of them.

Meredith stood on the curb alone. Finally she saw a car pull up and a man step out with a sign saying "Dr. Grey." she walked over to him.

"You Dr. Meredith grey?" The man asked.

"Yes." she said. He took her bag and put it in the trunk and opened the door for her. She got in and the door shut after her. They pulled away from the curb and drove on through Boston. The place she knew to well. The driver dropped her off at a Motel 6 and said he'd be back at 6 the next morning. Meredith walked into the motel and checked into her room.

Once in her room Meredith stripped from her clothes and jumped into the shower. She then put on a long T-Shirt, set her watch alarm to 5:30 AM and sunk into the bed and fell asleep.

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Meredith was up and ready by the time the driver picked her up for 6. She got in the car while the man put her suitcase in the trunk. It was about a 2 and a half hour drive from Boston to Portland. All Meredith could do was stare out the window, waiting in anticipation.

The car finally pulled up to another motel 6 around 8:30am. She needed to get situated in her room. Ten minutes later she left again in the car, heading straight to her new work. Mercy Hospital looked pleasant. Not as extravagant as Seattle Grace but she would get used to it. She walked up to the first nurses station that came in sight.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Meredith Grey, I was just transferred from Seattle Washington." Meredith told a nurse behind the counter by the name of Stella.

"Yes, I'll page Dr. Morrison, she's been waiting for you." Meredith waited for only a minute or so when a tall brunette in her late thirties walked up in dark blue scrubs and a white lab coat.

"Dr. Grey. It's nice to finally meet you. Dr. Webber as said nothing but wonderful things about you.," She was a very cheerful lady, a big change from Bailey. "Anyway! Lets show you around and you can meet the other interns. Also, I don't see why you can't start today."

"No problem, I'm up for it." Meredith was, she was ready to get this new life started.

She followed Dr. Morrison, whose first name was Maria, down the hall.

"These are all the on-call rooms you obviously know how to use them. Actually, you know all the rules no need to go over them. You will learn soon enough how I work. Now, lets me the others shall we?" They walked down another hall and came to another nurses station. There they stood for a minute as she paged them all.

There were 4 in all, like back at home. 2 guys 2 girls.

"This is Anna," Dr. Morrison gestured to a red head. "And Kelly," then to the blonde beside Anna.

"Hi, I'm Tyler," a browned haired, very attractive intern stuck out his hand. He had a flirtatious grin on his face. Meredith shook it.

"Flirt much?" Anna asked. Tyler gave her a look.

"Oh yeah, this is Steven." Meaning the guy standing next to him. This one had black hair, clean cut. Both guys were equally attractive. _Maybe it wont take me that long to get over Derek._ Meredith thought to herself looking at these to interns

"Now that you are all acquainted...Anna, stick With Meredith today, show her the ropes. Meredith, you'll be off at 9 tonight, don't want to over do it the first day." With that, Dr. Morrison left them alone.

"Actually I was on my way to a patient when I got paged so lets go." Anna said giving Meredith the chart she was holding.

"Okay." Meredith said. She was on her way to a fresh start.

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Meredith had a great first day. All the other interns were very nice, she could get used to this. Since it was only 7 in Seattle, Meredith picked up the bedside phone of her motel room and dialed her own house. It felt weird.

"Hey Izzie? It's me Meredith."

**Okay. I see this as a huge story...only thing is, where are all my reviews? Come on guys, it can't be that bad! **


	4. Chapter 4

Unexpected

It's been a week since Meredith's departure. Izzie had to tell the others everything after Meredith's first call. They took it hard but Izzie and Meredith knew that deep down, they understood. Izzie is now currently getting dressed for work. Dr. Webber has let her back into the program. Everyone is excited to have her back. She had called Meredith the minuet she found out. Of course, Meredith was very happy for her.

"Izzie!" George called from the bottom of the stairs."We are going to be late! You don't want to be late on your fist day back!"

"I'm coming! Fix me a coffee for me will you George!"

"I got it!" Callie called back instead. Yes, Callie had practically moved in...actually, she did. George asked her to move in a few days ago, and countered it with a first "I love you.". Izzie put her hair up in a tight pony tail and raced down the stairs and into the car where George and Callie waited with her coffee.

Izzie stepped into Seattle Grace hospital and breathed in the smell she missed so much. At the same time, thinking of what Mercy Hospital smelled like for Meredith. Izzie got into the elevator and up to the second floor where she walked into the locker room to change into her scrubs.

"Nice to see you back Stevens." Dr. Bailey said when she walked into the locker room. "Izzie, your with me today, George, your with Shepherd and so are you Karev." Alex gave a sound of victory and headed to the OR, not even bothering to wait for George."Christina, your doing labs, don't give me that look, someone has to do them." Christina left as well while Izzie stayed with the bossy resident. She was sure as hell happy to be back.

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Derek stood with hot water pouring down on his hands in the scrub room. It's been one week since Meredith left...He didn't have information of her status. Just that she left to do her internship somewhere else. He didn't know her number or how far away she actually was. He could not believe he lost her like that. Let her slip from his fingers like beach sand.

He loved her, still does. He just wished he knew why she just got up and left like that._ Would it make a difference if I did know?_ He thought to himself has he continued staring into the OR blankly. He wasn't enough for her. She was right, she was tired of being second. If only he understood before all this. Before this complete loneliness he feels now set in and decided to stay. There was nothing he could do now. He can now move on. He's just not sure if he wants too.

Alex walked into the room followed by George. They stared at the wreck of a man that was left. They don't even know how he can still perform surgeries. Derek finally snapped out of it and finished scrubbing his hands and arms. He looked at the two other men with a fake smile and walked into the OR.

"Okay everyone, it's a nice morning to save lives, lets have some fun." Derek said as they began the surgery.

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Meredith sat outside in the warm afternoon sun eating her lunch. She just got on brake. She feels like she is doing okay so far. She moved in with Anna who needed a roommate. They are great friends by the way. Along with the very shy Kelly. It was a big change from Christina and Izzie but she's gotten used to them already. She feels like the workaholic compared to these two. Or maybe she was turning into one. _I've hung around Christina to much. _Meredith thought to herself as she took a bite out of her sandwich.

She liked it in Maine. Anna and Kelly Promised to drive her around on their next day off. Meredith is now on her new work schedule and hadn't found the time that would match up with theirs. But so far, she loved it here.

"What are you thinking about?" Tyler asked as he sat down next to her on the bench.

"Home...I miss it." Meredith said. She's really gotten to know him. He's a really nice guy.

"Seattle? Yeah, it's nice there, But I'm not the huge city type." He replied biting into his own sandwich. Meredith nodded and didn't say anything.

"Any bars around here?" She finally asked, she feels as if she could have a drink every now and then.

"Uh yeah. How about we all go out for a drink tonight? My treat?"

"I might just take you up on that." Meredith said smiling. "I'll ask Anna and Kelly and I'll get back to you."

"What are you two talking about?" Anna said. Walking up.

"Speak of the devil." Meredith replied.

"Haha very funny, no seriously."

"We were gonna go out for drinks tonight." Tyler says.

"Oh count me in!"

"Me too!" Steven sat down on the grass followed by Kelly. "What about you?" he then asked her.

"Yeah I guess..."

"So it's settled." Meredith said happily. Her first night out with her new friends.

Later that night Meredith put her scrubs into her locker and shut the door. She was dressed for a night out. She walked out of the locker room and down the hall. She took in the smell of the hospital. Yes, she could get used t this. She stood and waited for the elevator. When it opened she was greeted by the crew. They all took Tyler's car to the bar a mile or so away.

"How many shots it that now Meredith?" Steven asked slurrying a little as she gestured to a row of tequila shots.

"I donno..."

"How About seven." Anna said coming to sit with them.

"Where you this wild back in Seattle?" Kelly spoke up form down the bar. She was sipping a lone bear. Meredith nodded and ordered another.

"No, she's done." A man said sitting down on the other side. "I've seen her drink about ten of those already." he said again. Meredith just looked at him. He was tall and had shaggy blonde hair.

"Are you Married?" she asked. The man shook his head. "Okay, then you can sit here." She said, even though the man was already sitting. Anna and the Others left her to talk to this man and went off to do their own thing. Meredith talked to the man for quite sometime before coming up to the others, announcing for Anna to not wait up for her. Meredith then left with the man.

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Izzie hadn't gotten a call from Meredith yet tonight. She wasn't worried. It wasn't that late at night yet. She assumed she was having a girls night out. She couldn't deny that fact that she was jealous. She missed her so much as well. No more fun night's out at Joe's after a long shift at the hospital. She just hoped Meredith wasn't getting herself into trouble. She knew how she got when she had to much to drink.

Izzie yawned and jumped down from the kitchen counter and went upstairs to bed. She had a surgery to assist on in the morning.

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Derek sat outside his trailer alone. He was sipping a beer and thinking about all the things he could have done different. First of all, he could have chosen Meredith right from the start. To late now. She was long gone and somehow he knew he would never se her again, or hear from her.

A lone tear fell from his eye and slipped down his stubbled cheek. Meredith liked his stubble. It went with is overly moosed hair. He missed her smile, her laugh. The long walks with Doc in the mornings. He missed the scent of her Lavender shampoo left on his pillow from the night before.

Derek downed his beer and dropped the bottle onto the grass. He didn't bother to pick it up. He looked out at his land, remembering what Meredith had said one time.

"_I was done, I thought I was with the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with."_

He messed up big time. And there is no way now, that he can fix it. She wouldn't take him back. Hew knew she wouldn't. She said so herself...well it was implied. He finally realized that he could never be with her. Because she would always know that she was his second choice. He know knew that she wanted to be his only choice, If only he hadn't been so blind. Maybe then things would be different. He sure as hell wouldn't be sitting alone outside this trailer if things were different. He wouldn't be drowning his sorrow in a six pack of beer.

Derek reached down into the cooler and pulled out another beer. He took that top of with his bare hands, rage and anger at himself popping the mettle top off. He took a long slow swig from the bottle. After he was done, he went and side and fell asleep in his clothes.

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It's been two days and Izzie hasn't heard anything from Meredith. She was beginning to get really worried. It was so unlike her not to call. Meredith had made it a habit to call every night after her shift was over. But two full days and no Meredith. Izzie paced the kitchen, stopping every now and then to stare at the phone intently. As if willing for it to ring. Izzie finally gave up and went upstairs to her room. It was getting late.

Izzie awoke at an unusual hour of the morning to hear the phone ringing in the kitchen. She was suddenly wide awake and raed down the staris two at a time. Once in the Kitchen she picked up the receiver,

"Hello?" She practically yelled into the phone.

"It's three in the morning, who's calling?" George asked. He was standing in the doorway, rubbing his eyes. Izzie ignored him and listened to the voice the other end. She finally hung up the phone. "Izzie?"

"It was Meredith..." Izzie looked horrified and it was scaring George. Callie cam into the kitchen and looked at the both of them

"What's the matter?" she asked, seeing the look on Izzie's face.

Izzie looked at the both of them and finally spoke, "Meredith's been raped."

**Cliffy. I know you hate them but I went blank. Guess you'll have to wait till I can think of something. In the mean time, why don"t you review?**


	5. Chapter 5

The result

Dr. Webber, even though he knew how bad these circumstances where, only let Christina and Izzie travel to Maine to check up on Meredith. Meredith was a wreck. She didn't want to even step outside her house. Her resident, Dr. Maria Morrison, gave her a month off to get it together. Izzie tried to get her to come back home but she refused. She said that she wanted to go there and start a new life and that was what she was sticking with.

The guy, whose name was Justin Brown, was caught and sent to jail. To top it all of, Meredith wasn't his only victim. There had been other cases filed for his sexual assaults.

Since they were only allowed to stay for three days tops, Izzie and Christina stayed for as long as they could and left knowing that Meredith was going to be okay. She was a bit bruised and battered, but no internal injuries to worry about.

Now, a month later Meredith is back at work. She's acting as if it's never happened, the only thing she has left of what happened is something she is yet to tell the others. Her friends here know, but not the ones back in Seattle. At the moment she is filling out a patients chart and will soon be heading to discharge another patient and then head home. There, she will call up Izzie as she always does. Sometimes she talks to George. He really misses her, as does everyone else. When she talks to them, she never asks about Derek. Like how he reacted to her not being there, what he's doing now, if he's dating anyone. She would just rather not know.

"Heading home?" Tyler asked, falling in step with her as she headed to her other patient.

"Yeah, I have to discharge Mrs. Stout in room 1119 and then I'm going home." She said looking once more at the chart and flipping the lid shut.

"Oh...well, I'll see you tomorrow then." He looked a bit disappointed and Meredith knew. She like him and all, he was a very sweet guy but...What happened to her a month ago..she doesn't know. She's afraid. Like she can't trust anyone anymore.

She finally comes to the room and steps inside to see the older women laying in her hospital bed.

"Hello Mrs. Stout, You get to go home today."

"That sounds fantastic." The women says, flashing Meredith a happy smile. Meredith gives her a smile back.

Meredith sits on her bed, phone in hand. She knows she'll have to tell them eventually. _Just call her up as you normally do...then just slide it in..."so how are you? By the way I'm pregnant with the rapers baby..." _She places her hand on her belly, implying that it's not the baby's fault and that she doesn't resent it.

"Ugh!" Meredith hit the phone to her head in frustration. Ignoring the pain she finally dials Izzie. The phone rings a bit longer then usual. Finally Izzie picks up the phone,

"Hello?"

"Hey Iz, it's me." Meredith says, moving stray hairs from her face with her free hand.

"Hey Meredith! Hey everyone, it's Mer!" Meredith could here a chorus of "hey Meredith's!" on the other end, it made her strangely sad that she wasn't there doing whatever it was they were doing.

"What are you all doing? Who's there?" Meredith disguises her loneliness.

"Oh just the usual, Alex, Burke, Christina, me, Derek, Callie George." Izzie said the last three a bit fast.

"What?" Meredith knew what she said, just wanted to double check.

"Like I said, the usual." Izzie sounded guilty.

"Must be a new usual, how unusual, speaking of unusual, I'm Pregnant." It went silent on the other line.

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Izzie didn't know what to say. She was frozen there leaning on the counter, beer in hand and a bunch of people in the other room.

"Come again?"

"I said I'm pregnant..."

"That's what I thought you said..."

"Well...I donno Iz...it was bound to happened right?" Meredith said. Izzie thought Meredith seemed to be thinking sensibly...which is odd for her.

"What are you going to do...?"

"Well, my resident knows...so, I guess when it's time I'll be put on bed rest...I'm not going to be kicked out.."

"Right, it wasn't your fault..." Izzie couldn't believe what she was hearing, her best friend was pregnant and by the sound of it, was keeping it.

"This is the result..."Meredith rubbed her belly, letting her unborn child know that she was still not putting it to blame.

"So your keeping it."

"Yes." Meredith's voice cracked.

"Are you going to me okay?" Izzie asked, she sunk into a chair. She didn't hear anything from the other line. "Meredith?" She heard a sniffle and the sound of Meredith clearing her throat.

"Yeah..yeah, I will be." Meredith sighed. "Um, can you put Christina on?"

"Sure Mer..." Izzie said quietly.

"And Izzie?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you not...please don't say anything to Derek..." Meredith's voice finally gained composer. She didn't want him to know how her past predicament, and she didn't want him to know the result.

"Of course, let me get Christina." Izzie placed the phone down on the counter and left the kitchen to fetch her other friend. When she entered the living room everyone was playing the drinking game, Quarters. Izzie plastered on a fake smile as if nothing new has happened and gestured to Christina to follow her into the kitchen.

"She still on the line?" Christina asked when told the news. Izzie nodded. Christina picked up the phone. "Hey Mer."

"She told you?"

"Yeah, she did."

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Derek waved to the others has he pulled out to of the driveway. He's been going there every once and a while. For dinner or just to hang out. It's not like he has any friends anyway. Now, these guys where his friends. They didn't seem to mind. Surprisingly they didn't hold anything against him. It's all in the past and forgiven for the most part.

He drives on down the road and an image pops into his head. Meredith. That was who was on the phone an hour ago. He wished he could have talked to her but he knew she didn't want to. Probably doesn't ver want to again. He finally pulls up to his trailer and gets out. He's not tired so he decides to take a walk to contemplate.

As he walks down the path, once traveled by three, He thinks about getting another dog. It was lonely out here all by himself. He needs a companion. Who cares if it's a four legged furry dog. _On my next day off...I'll go get a dog._ Derek thinks to himself. He needs someone.

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It's been seven months since Meredith left. Meredith is now six month's pregnant. All the others have come to visit her when they can. It was weird to see Meredith...she seemed different. Unfazed by what has happened to her. She's just different. But not too different. She's still the same old Meredith, she just takes care of things differently. Anna and the others have been the best of friends to her. Not like the ones back in Seattle, but they have helped her through this when the others where unable.

Today she finds out what the sex is of her baby. She's excited as any soon to be mother would be. Kelly is on brake now so she is helping Meredith at the moment, taking her up for her ultra sound. So Meredith laid on the examining table as the nurse lifted up her shirt, exposing her protruding belly. She applied the cold gel and then they took a look at her baby.

"See right there, that's her hand, she looks like she's waving at you." The nurse said happily as she pointed at the monitor.

"A girl!" Meredith was so happy. She wanted to call up her friends right then and tell them the great news.

"Everything seems to be okay, you'll have a fine delivery."

"When am I due?"

"Around August the 12th." Meredith nodded. She'd have to tell them all that too. She wants them all to be here for it.

So Mer...You have a name picked out?" Kelly asked as she and Meredith took the elevator to the first floor. Meredith thought for a moment.

"Grace, after the hospital back home." Meredith felt satisfied with the name.

"What a beautiful name." Kelly seemed mesmerized by it.

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"Hey Meredith!" Izzie said when she picked up the phone. She knew it was her the moment it rang.

"Hey, guess what!" Meredith was so excited.

"What?"

"It's a girl!"

"Oh Meredith! Congratulations! George, Callie, Christina!"

"What?" they all came into the kitchen.

"Meredith's having a girl!" Callie grabbed the phone from Izzie and congratulated Meredith. The phone went around and congrats where made.

"Okay Izzie, I've had enough excitement for one day." Meredith said, she did sound a bit tired.

"Okay Mer, have some rest, talk to you tomorrow."

"Night."

"Night." George yelled.

"Night!" that was Callie.

"Tell her goodnight, I don't want to yell." Christina said.

"I heard." Meredith's reply came from the other end. Izzie hung up the phone, a smile playing on her lips.

**Okay, what did you think? If you think this is fast forwarding, wait till next chapter. Whoops, I gave to much away! REVIEW PLEASE!**


	6. Chapter 6

Moving

She sat in her room. It was dark outside and the only source of light was a five colored lamp set to red, green and yellow. It was in the corner of her room and she was lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her mother would be home in an hour. There was no father. At least not in the picture. And that was fine with her. She knew **of** him, but she didn't want to **know** him.

She lifts her arm from the bed and rests it over her head, tangling her fingers in her honey hair. She was told she looks nothing like him. She's glad. She looks so much like her mother. Her mother is her everything. They are kind of like Lorelei and Rory on Gilmore girls. She wouldn't want it any other way. It's been that way from the beginning. They do everything together; even though Her mother has long hours at work, well of course, she's the Famous Meredith Grey!

Meredith always finds time for Grace. Even if it means coming home at one in the morning and baking cookies or watching a movie together. Meredith is way different then how her mom was with her. When she found out she was pregnant ten years ago, she vowed to be a better mother. She's kept that eternal promise.

Meredith moved out of Anna's house by the time Grace turned one and got herself a three bedroom Apartment. There, Grace and Meredith lived together, growing to a healthy and solid mother daughter relationship. Nothing could be better then what these two have.

The phone rings on the night stand by the bed. Grace lets it ring twice before picking it up.

"Hello?" She says into the receiver.

"Hello Grace, your mom still at work?" Izzie's voice is heard on he other end.

"Not right now...I'm all alone!" Grace says dramatically. "She'll be home in an hour." Grace answers cheerfully.

"Um okay..."

"Why what's the matter?"

Izzie didn't know if she should tell her. "Do you have many friends?"

"...no not really, what's this have to do with anything?"

Izzie sighs, "Your mom is going to be offered a job she can't refuse..."

"You mean We might be moving there?" Grace was excited.

Izzie nodded and then realized that Grace can't see it, " Yep."

"I've been trying to get mom to move for like a year now!" Grace sat up in bed. She hates not being near her family...well they are as close of a family that she has other then Anna, Kelly, Steven and Tyler.

"Well tell your mom to call me, but don't say anything." Izzie says to an excited Grace.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

"Love you.: Izzie says with a smile.

"Love you too." Grace hangs up the phone and flops back down on the pillow. She's heard about all the great experiences her mother has had in Washington, now she may be able to experience her own. _Seattle...I wonder what it's like... _Grace closes her eyes, Daydreaming about what it would be like.

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Derek woke to a fluffy head in his face. He sat up to fine Chance sprawled out on his bed.

"Chance!" Derek said to the sleepy dog. The dog lifted his head an looked as if he smiled at his master. "Time to get ready for work." Derek pushed the dog a little and Chance got up and off the bed. Derek almost stepped on Ruby as he walked to the bathroom. He's had Ruby for ten years now. He rescued her when she was a year old. She's an Australian Shepherd mix. Big black and furry. She's pretty old now.. He then rescued Chance last year. Chance is a Chocolate Lab mix. He has long hair like Ruby. He keeps Ruby company while Derek is at work. Derek pats Ruby on the head and decides to take a shower. All the while his furry friends wait for him.

Now all clean and with a fresh cup of coffee Derek, Ruby and Chance head outside for their morning walk before work. No need for leashes, these dogs are well behaved. It's a nice sunny day in Seattle. There is a slight breeze as they walk along the path. Chance runs ahead while Old Ruby stays at Derek's side. Derek breaths in the warm air and a smile graces his lips. He always thinks of Meredith when he's walking out here. It's been ten years since he's seen her. He wonders what she's doing. If she's with anyone or has any kids. He knows she's doing well in her medical career. He's seen her in a few medical Magazines. She's become almost as famous as her mother Ellis. He's proud of her. He knows where she lives as well. But that's all he knows.

Chance and Ruby now all about her. He talks about her to them all the time. They are all he has to talk to when he's not with the others. He's not with anyone. He hasn't been for a while. The others don't last as long. Maybe a month and then he can't cope. He doesn't feel as connected with those other women as he did with Meredith.

Chance turns around and decides to talk on the other side of Derek. They walk like that for a while in silence. Just listening to nature. Derek's cell phone suddenly rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey Derek," It's Burke.

"Hey Preston, what's up?"

"Well, I got confirmation from out new Attending, she's decided to come."

"That's Great. How soon can she come?"

"She can be here by tomorrow afternoon." Preston Burke informed.

"Okay, Tell her to come to my office as soon as she can." Derek says as he comes to a stop.

"You got it Chief." Preston said before hanging up. That's right, Derek is chief. Dr. Richard Webber gave him the news five months before he died. He died of natural causes. Actually, it hasn't been ten years since he's seen Meredith. He saw her at Dr. Webber's funeral. He didn't actually talk to her though and that was a year and a half ago.

Derek looked down at his two companions while flipping his phone shut. They looked back up at him, tongues sticking out.

"Alright you two. I have to go to work."

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Meredith was surrounded by boxes. She was moving back to Seattle. Grace came into the room and plopped a box down on the table happily. Meredith reached out her arms and pulled her daughter into a hug. She was glad Grace was okay with this. She would be leaving her school and going to a new one on the other side of the country.

"Mom?" Grace looked up at her mom and Meredith kissed her forehead.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"When will we get there?" She looked to hyped up to wait.

"Tomorrow afternoon." Meredith let go of her daughter and taped up the last of the boxes. Everything was going with them and put into storage until they had a place. In the mean time, they will be staying with Izzie and Alex. Yes they got married about two years ago. Everyone is married now...well except for Meredith that is, and she doesn't mind...at least not out loud.

"We have to go in like...half an hour if we want to catch the plane mom." Grace said impatiently.

"I know, be patient, okay? We'll be there soon enough." Meredith handed Grace a box and grabbed one herself and they both exited the apartment and into the elevator that would take them to ground level. They then went outside and put the boxes in the moving van. The moving van will take there belongings to the airport to be loaded onto the plane.

"Hey you guys!" Anna and Kelly walked up to them.

"Hey, come to help us?" Meredith Teased. Grace hugged both Women.

"Where are the other two?" Grace asked looking around. She had a secret crush on Steven.

"They are both in surgeries, wont be able to make it here. They told me to say bye for them though" Kelly put in.

"Man I'm going to miss you guys!" Anna said hugging Grace again. Both her and Kelly looked like they might cry.

"We'll keep in touch." Meredith reassured. The all stood there in silence on the curb for a while. Grace looked at the ground.

"We should go, you guys have to get going anyway right?" Anna asked.

"..yeah..." Meredith enveloped Kelly and Anna into a hug. Both women hugged Grace in turn and left. "They will keep in touch." Meredith put an arm around her daughter. "Ready to go Kiddo?"

"You bet!" Grace said running to the car.

"Whoa there! You have your boxes to loud, then we can go."

"Haha...whoops." They both went into the house and grabbed the boxes. Once they were loaded into the van, Meredith and Grace got into their own car and drove to the airport. The van followed behind.

Two hours into the flight to Seattle. Grace is out cold from all the excitement. Meredith watches her daughter as she sleeps. It was hard taking care of her at first. Being a single mother and all. But that mother instinct kicked in right away and she had a lot of help from her friends In Maine and Izzie and the others when they would go up. When she looks at Grace, she doesn't think of what happened to ten years ago. She thinks about what a blessing Grace is to her life. She doesn't know how she would go on without her. And she looks so much like herself. Right down to the honey colored hair and Lavender shampoo. She has her eyes and stubborn personality as well. There isn't one ounce of Justin Brown in her. And she is thankful for that.

Meredith smiles to herself and closes her own eyes. _Mine as well sleep for the rest of the flight._

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It's the next day and Derek is sitting behind his desk going over some paper work. He just got out of a long surgery and it was only mid afternoon. He still had a long day ahead of him. Derek sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He pushed himself a ways from his desk and unlocked and then opened the bottom drawer. He pulled out a few medical magazines. One had Meredith on the cover. He stared at it. Mesmerized by how beautiful she is. This Magazine was just recent. He put that one aside and looked at the other, flipping through the pages until he got to the article. It was the first article on Meredith. He remembered how proud he was of her when he read about her.

A smile came to his lips. He put that magazines back in the bottom drawer of his desk and locked it. And sat back and sighed again. He's come so far. There's suddenly a knock on his office door and his smile gets bigger.

"Come in." he says. He leans forward a little as the door opens. "Ah Meredith, Nice to see you again.:

**So? haha. What do you think? Oh yeah, Remember what I told you about My Great Uncle? Well, when they took him off life support he started breathing on his own. It's weird, but great! Anyway, please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

How you really feel

They haven't seen any of the others yet. They got in a few hours ago, Grace was home alone because her Mother had a meeting with the Chief of Surgery. At the moment Grace stood in the living room, phone in hand while music was blasting from the DVD player

"Notes in my drawers, songs in my pockets, Fragments of letters that you sent!" Grace sang out beautifully. She sat on a stool in the middle of the room, as if she was performing on stage. "Leftover phone calls! cologne in the bath, I still have that bottle of Roses!" Grace continued on singing not even noticing the extra person in the room.

"Staring at your photograph, tryin' to take it down There's still a stirring in my heart." Meredith walked up behind her daughter and sang with her.

"Honey I just can't get around it anymore. " Now together "you make me feel like, home is where you are..." Grace smiled up at her mother and turned off the DVD.

"Anyone ever tell you that you should be on stage?" The two girls turned around to see George leaning against the wall. Meredith and Grace laughed. George came into the room and gave Grace a hug while Meredith put the stool back in the kitchen. Her daughter and George joined her in the kitchen.

"I'm hungry." Grace declared jumping up the counter to sit.

"What will it be?"

"Um...I donno.

"What about Chinese?" George asked looking in the frig.

"I hate Chinese food!" Grace and Meredith said at the same time.

"Like mother like daughter." George shook his head. "Oh yeah! How'd your meeting with Shepherd go?"

"Fine... I start on Monday." Meredith says sitting down with a bag of chips. When she went to her meeting she went in carrying herself well. She didn't act like she used to when put in one of those situations. She went in, acted as if all that history between Her and Derek never happened. She stayed very professional without even having to remind herself too. Strange thing is, so did he. She didn't even think of how to act or what to do until it was over. And it went well. She offers a chip to Grace.

"Wow, that's tomorrow." George said a bit surprised.

"Well yeah George." Grace decided to be a smart ass. George looked at her teasingly "where's Alex and Izzie?" She then asked.

"At the hospital, Alex should be home soon but Izzie is on call." George answers. He takes a chip from the bag.

"Aw, I wanted to see her!"

"I'll drive you down, how does that sound?" Meredith says rolling up the chip bag and handing it to George.

"For real?" Grace jumps up off the counter and hugs her mother. George looks on happily, admiring them. "I'll go get my jacket!" Grace races out of the room and her thumping is heard as she heads up the stairs. She come down like five seconds later and all three pile into the car.

They get to the hospital, the excitement of being there etched a crossed Grace's face. When they step into the big hospital Meredith takes in a deep breath, inhaling the smell she's missed so much. Grace looks at her a bit funny and sniffs the air. She doesn't quite get the meaning, but she will in time.

They take the elevator to the pediatrics floor.

"Is Dr. Stevens available?" George asks when they get to the nurses station. The nurse behind the counter looks at them all and notices Meredith and smiles.

"Dr. Grey! Nice to see you again! Is this your daughter? She looks just like you, oh yes sorry, she's in the second room on the right. You three have a nice day." She smiles still. The three walk down the hall a ways and see that Izzie is finishing up with a patient. They wait outside the room until she emerges. Once she sees Grace she sweeps her into a bear hug and kisses her forehead.

"Hey you guys! Sorry I can't be at home, duty calls."

"Understandable." Meredith says hugging her friend.

"So what are you doing here?"

"Grace wanted to see you...actually, not to push my limits here but...Is it okay if she stays here with your for a while? See how things are done?" Meredith asks, smiling at what she knows her Daughter's reaction will be.

"For real!" Grace squeals with delight.

"Of course she can! And you know what else?" Directing her attention to Grace now. "You can even sit in the gallery during my surgery in an hour."

"No Way!"

"Yes way!" Meredith and George laugh.

"Pick you up in a few hours, Love you." Meredith says as she and George turn to go.

"Thanks so much mom, Love you too." Grace hugs her mother and follows Izzie down the hall. Izzie waves goodbye.

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Derek sat in his office. Meredith had left a few hours ago. When she walked though that door she took his breath away. More now then she has ever had. She seemed different. She wasn't like the old Meredith he remembered. I mean, she was Meredith, but she appeared to have way more confidence and didn't look to be damaged. He personally didn't even think it was an act. He seriously thinks she is doing way better now then ten years ago. And she is.

When Meredith came in and the meeting had gone underway, everything seemed to be as if he was talking to a stranger. He knew it was her but he didn't feel threatened or anything. He acted like himself. It was like...Putting the past behind him without even having to remind himself too. It was mutual. He liked it. He liked not having to fake anything.

Derek leaned back and heaved out a big sigh. He felt bored so he decided to go to the Gallery. He went in to see Izzie performing an emergency C-section. He leaned himself against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn't notice the other presence in the room. He finally looked over. There is a honey haired girl leaning forward in a gallery chair, looking intently and transfixed on te scene below. She really shouldn't be in there but he was curious.

"Amazing isn't it?" Derek states, not looking at her anymore.

"Yeah... My mom used to tell me all about performing her first surgery."

"It's a wonderful feeling." Derek responds. He wonders who this girl belongs to, obviously not Izzie.

"Yeah, I want to go to medical school. She says it runs in my veins." The girl looks at him. "My grandmother was one of the greatest, you know, the Grey Method, but I bet you already knew that." She says still transfixed. Derek continues staring at her. He can see it now. The spitting image of Meredith. The hair, the intelligence, the maturity. All of it.

"Yeah, I knew her. She was something." It goes silent for a long time before any of them says anything.

"Mom used to say that she wondered why anyone does drugs..." The girl looks back at Izzie.

"It's like a high," Derek recalls his first surgery with Meredith..

"...she really loves it." She finally says.

" I'm Derek Shepherd by the way, nice to meet you..."

"Grace, Grey." She finally looked away and looked at him, she shook his hand. He saw her mothers eyes looking right back at him. It was amazing. It made him wonder. Meredith hadn't given any indications that she was married, or had a daughter. He felt slightly disappointed.

"Would you look at that." Derek had finally looked back down into the O.R.

"It's amazing..." Grace watched in aw as Izzie held a newborn child.

"It really is."

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It was the next day, Meredith's first day back at Seattle Grace Hospital. She was very happy to be back. She had to refrain from hugging Bailey, who is now an attending. Bailey was still her old self, Meredith was actually glad. At the moment, Meredith is on break, she had just finished her first surgery of the day. Last night everyone was over, and they had a welcome back party. Izzie came in late but they all had a lot of fun. Derek hadn't gone. He said he had things to do. Meredith eats a forkfull of salad and takes a sip of water. It's a nice day out so she's sitting on a lone bench. The sun beats down on her face and a light breezes comes in, sifting through her hair, which is hanging loosely at her shoulders She'll put it back up later.

"You never told me you had a daughter." Someone says from behind her.

"You never asked." Meredith doesn't turn around, she knows who it is. Derek Shepherd lifts a foot and then the other over the bench and sits next to Meredith. He looks at her profile.

"True...So...does that mean your married?" He asks.

"Are you?" She asks back.

"No, Now it's your turn." She's very surprised by that answer. As far as she knew, he was still married to Addison when she left ten years ago.

"I'm not." She finally answers, putting her salad container on the other side of her. She sips her water.

"What about the father?" He asks. At first he didn't want to ask but he was curious.

"I rather not talk about it." It was obviously a sore subject so he laid off. "So...your divorced." She said not in the form of a question. Derek nodded.

"Ten years now." Meredith whipped her head around and stared at him. He looked back at her, a seriously look on his face. He was trying not to show his satisfaction over her reaction. He thought he should say when but he wasn't entirely sure how to say it without stirring. But I guess no matter how he would say it, it would bring up everything. He knew she secretly wanted to know. "Happened right after prom night at the hospital. She couldn't take it anymore. I could tell, so the next day I signed the papers." He looks off a little, avoiding her gaze.

"Meredith looks away as well. "Do...Do you think things would be different..If..."

"I had told you about the divorce?" Meredith nods. She's fiddling with her fingers. She does that when she's nervous. Derek shrugs, " I was going to leave it for you to decide..." Meredith looks at him again. She remembers that, that was what she was supposed to do anyway. But she couldn't take the pressure.

"Sometimes I wonder, how it would be now, if things were different." Meredith thinks for a moment. "But then I know, that if they were...I wouldn't have Grace. And I wouldn't re do anything because of her."

"She's just like you Mer." Meredith tensed a little at that. It was the sound of his voice, soft and tender like her used to talk to her. It stirred up a lot of old feelings. She gulps down the rest of her water uncomfortably.

"She's nothing like him...her father...and I'm happy about it." Derek listens to her intently. "I once had to explain to her why she didn't have a daddy...When I told her she felt like she was nothing...It hurt to see her crushed over it..." Meredith sighed and went on, "I mean...what are you supposed to tell you daughter? That she was the result of a rape?" Derek gasped. Meredith kept fiddling with her fingers trying not to look him in the eye. She was afraid to. Afraid of being judged. She was tired of being a victim. "I'm not happy about what happened to me, but I am to have her...Does that make sense?"

Derek looks at her, the McDreamy look without the smile (as in intense blue eyes that make you melt) "I understand exactly what you mean. We don't have control over what happens to us, but sometimes, something wonderful happens without warning, and we are grateful for it." Derek leans back. "Meredith...Don't be afraid," He lifts her chin up with his index finger so she's looking at him. "I'm not judging you...I never have or will."

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George is lying on his old bed, which is now Grace's. He was lying with her earlier. They were talking about how amazed she was about the surgery she witnessed the other day. She also talked about the little baby. She had gone in to see her a few hours after she was born. She talked about how small and brand-new she was, untouched by life. It was like listening to Meredith.

Now, Grace is asleep, her head on his shoulder. He should be getting home. Callie was waiting for him. He's been married to calling for three years now. No children yet. He wasn't ready for a while. Now he is. Christina and Burke were the first to get married. They did a year after Meredith left. Neither one of their weddings were very big. They didn't have them in Seattle etherr. They went to Maine. To many marriages for Meredith to be paying all that money to fly down for

. George decided to wait for Meredith before leaving. She should be home any minute now. He was so glad to have her back.

"Thanks for keeping he company." Speak of the devil. Meredith walks into the room.

"We talked, it was no problem." George whispers. Meredith nods and George takes Grace's head in his hands and lifts her head up and slides out form under neath her. Meredith takes his place. She lays her head on her daughters. George leans in and kisses both their foreheads. Meredith mouths a goodbye and George leaves. Meredith sighs. She smells Graces shampoo, it's the same as hers. She smiles.

"Hey mom?" Graces voice his heard.

"Mm hmm?" Meredith's eyes are closed/

"Do you like Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith opens her eyes, completely taken aback. Grace has seen them together, talking and stuff when he comes to Izzie's. She guesses some feelings have been surfacing and around for all to see. "Did you love him once?" Taken aback once again. Meredith wasn't going to lie.

"Yes."

**This one was longer. I hope you enjoy. I hope you got the meaning of the Title. Review please.**


	8. Chapter 8

News all around

It's been a month since Meredith and Grace moved to Seattle. Everything is as it should be. Meredith is no longer at Izzie and Alex's. She didn't want to over stay her welcome. She knew Izzie didn't mind seeing as she kept expressing it every time the subject of Meredith finding her own place came up. But Meredith did know that Alex could only take so much. He didn't verbally inform her that he was getting sick of it, but that's just how Alex is. To Meredith, he is easy to read, or maybe it was just because she's known him forever. Anyway, she knew she needed her own place and could certainly afford a house but she stuck with an apartment five minutes from the hospital. Within walking distance for Grace if she decided she wanted to go after school

Grace is now back at school. She just enrolled three weeks ago. She's way more popular at her new school then she was in Portland. She's a happy girl and Meredith loves to see her happy. What mother wouldn't? Also, Derek Shepherd made an exception on Meredith's behalf to let Grace come to the hospital and hang around in the Gallery or with Meredith and the others when she wanted to. She was very mature for her age and he knew she wouldn't stir up any trouble. Also he knew what kind of an impact it would make on her if she saw what a hospital brings. At such a young age, it can help her cope with such tragedies earlier in her intended career. She told him she wanted to be a surgeon. He admired her for having her heart set on such a big career.

Grace and Derek get along very well. He's taken her fishing a few times . She loves his dogs, Ruby and Chance. They follow her every where she goes when she is over there. She doesn't mind the trailer either. On weekends when he has it off or doesn't have to go in until the after noon. And none of her friends can hang out, he will either pick her up and they will go somewhere, or Meredith will bring her over there. Meredith doesn't mind Grace hanging with him. She thinks he will be a positive influence on her daughter, seeing he is the chief of surgery, her sort of friend, and a brain surgeon. A speciality both he and Meredith are in, and one Grace seems to enjoy watching in the Galleries.

When Derek is with Grace, he is instantly reminded of Meredith. The way she acts, the way she fiddles with her bracelet when she's nervous. Her laugh, her smile, her stubbornness and how she has to express her point so far a crossed that it doesn't even matter anymore. He is always wondering how she grew up. He wishes he was there for everything, that Grace was his daughter and not some god damn rapist's. It makes him so angry when he thinks about it. He is so proud of Meredith for being able to live through that, to still be okay.

Grace loves Derek, she wishes he could be her father, not that she feels like she needs one. She's lived ten years without one. But Derek...she doesn't know. There is just something about him that draws herself to him. Her mother hasn't been with anyone. She knows it's because she doesn't trust anyone. She knows she still has that reminder of what happened to her hanging over her head. Grace doesn't blame her. Grace just wishes that something would happed between Derek and her mother. She knows they have a history, she now knows why her mother left Seattle. Meredith doesn't know this. Izzie slipped one night when Grace and her where having one of their chats. Grace knows there is a spark still lingering. She can see it in Derek's eyes when he looks at her mother; in the way her mother ties to avoid his gaze, as if she'd get sucked right in if she looks into those blue eyes to long.

Meredith can't help but watch Derek with Grace. He is so good with her. It melts her heart when he makes her laugh, seeing how happy she is. She knows that deep down her Daughter wants a father. She knows Derek would be a great one. She's just so unsure. She doesn't know if she can trust anyone. She hasn't even tried it with anyone since the rape. That's a long time without sexual pleasure. But if you had seen what it did to her. She was not fine when she told her friends that she was going to be okay. She sent them back home and berried herself into a shell for a long time.

She knows she can trust Derek again, she doesn't know how to get back into it, or if he even wants to try it with her. It's been so long, they are different people now, at least she is. He seems to be though.

Nothing has happened between Meredith and Derek. They are just friends and colleagues. There are a few moments where it would seem like something more would happen. But they both keep it under control and strictly platonic. That's the way they would both like it...for now.

Today is a rainy day. Grace left for school fifteen minutes ago and Meredith and Alex didn't have to be in until nine. Meredith came over to Izzie and Alex's. Two hours with nothing to do. The bed is made in the spare room and Meredith is lying on top of it. She's staring up at the ceiling. There is nothing to do, and she doesn't feel like doing anything.

"Are you as bored as I am?" Alex yells from down that hall. He is also laying on his bed. Meredith sighs.

"No!"

"Well I am..."

"Wanna talk?"

"Do we have to?" Alex wines.

"What else do we have to do?"Meredith yells and Alex gives up.

"What do you want to talk about?" Silence ensues while they both think about what to talk about.

"Do you want kids Alex?" Alex is silent for a moment. He and Izzie have been married for a while now.

"I don't think I'd be good with kids." He answers back. He looks so unsure.

Meredith sits up in bed and looks towards the door but doesn't get up, "Your good with Grace." Meredith says. He is very good with Grace, they hang out all the time. Alex has grown out of the "preppie boy bitch" faze.

"Yeah..." all goes silent again. Alex finally spoke, but he seemed unsure as he said it, "I'm ready...I think I am."

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Christina is sitting down for lunch. She's thinking about how her life is right now. She's a cardiac surgeon and a damn good one at that. She loves her job and is still a workaholic. She's been married to Burke for nine years. It's going strong. She didn't think she was the marring type. But she wasn't a lot of things before she met Burke, or any of them for that matter. She's gone soft. And she shows a little more emotion then she used to. She's the hard core bitch Attending when it comes to Interns though. She can't stand them half the time.

Burke is supposed to have lunch with her today. She's just waiting for him at a lone table in the corner of the courtyard. She has something to tell him. If she hadn't known Grace and seen how Meredith is with her Daughter, she wouldn't be as reluctant and excited to tell Burke her news. She's telling him first because she knows he hates being the last to know things. So she told him she had to talk to him as soon as possible.

Burke walks up behind Christina and kisses her neck. He then sits down next to her with a smile. She smiles back at him. She loves him so much.

"So, how's your day so far?" She asks him, trying to stay focused and un nerved.

"Good, I have Coronary Artery Bypass in an hour and a half." He takes a bite of his food. "How about you?"

"It's going Good..." She doesn't know how to tell him.

"What's the matter?" He suddenly asked. She seemed nervous to him.

"I have something to tell you." She says, growing more confidence. He looks at her intently waiting for the news. "I've decided I want a child." A smile creeps onto his lips and he takes her hands in his a crossed the table.

"That's great news!" He kisses her hands.

"There is something else." She takes in a deep breath

"More? I think that was over whelming enough." He says, his eyes twinkling with delight.

"We don't have to wait long."

"What?"

"I'm Pregnant." She finally says, her face is serious.

"Are...Are you serious? Seriously?" He stammers.

"Seriously." He jumps up form the table and bends down to her level. He kisses her and hugs her to him. She feels tears coming but wills them back. She's so happy that he is happy. She knows she will be a good mother. She didn't think she would have been a long time ago, but she's changed. Everyone has.

Burke lets her go and kisses her again. "Does anyone else know?" He asks.

"Nope, you're the first I've told." He seemed very happy at that statement.

"When you going to tell everyone?" He goes to sit back down in his chair a crossed form her.

"That's another thing I wanted to tell you. Callie and George are having a random get together this weekend, well random to me seeing as they didn't specify a reason...anyway, I thought we'd tell them all then." She finishes, a huge grin on her face.

"Sounds good to me." Burke replies. He is finally going to have a family.

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Saturday night rolls around. Callie and George are running around, cleaning and preparing for their get together. Everyone is coming, Christina, Burke, Izzie, Alex, Meredith and Grace and Derek.

"We should just call Izzie, I'm not much of a cleaner." George says from the kitchen, He's sweeping the floor. Everyone should be there in about fifteen minutes.

"Kinda late for that sweety." Callie says from the upstairs bathroom. She then walks down, drying her hands with a paper towel. "All done!" she says. She hugs George and he kisses her deeply almost dropping the broomstick. The door bell rings and they are forced to break apart.

"I'll get it," George puts the broom in the closet and goes to open the door. It's Izzie and Alex. Izzie is carrying a cake.

"Hey you guys!" Callie greets with open arms as the first arrivals come inside.

"Let me take that for you," George takes the cake that was handed to him and brings it into the kitchen. Alex hangs up his coat and follows close behind. The two girls go to the living room talking all the while.

"So how are you Georgie?" Alex asks, clapping a hand to George's back. George sets the cake on the counter.

"I'm good, long day at work." George sighs and sits up on the marble counter top.

"Tell me about it." Alex slumps in a chair. Both men sat in silence. George inspected the cake Izzie made. He knew she'd make one. It's her thing. It was chocolate. Sometimes he wonder what was with women and their chocolate cravings.

"Meredith and Grace are here!" Izzie and Callie scream from the living room. Alex gets up and he and George leave the kitchen to greet Meredith and Grace.

And hour and a half later everyone is here minus Derek, he had some one come in with a Sub dural hemorrhage and had to go into surgery. He wont be there for another hour. At the moment everyone is sat at a round table playing Texas Hold em. They aren't playing for money though, because Grace is playing. And winning no less.

"Beginners luck!" Alex teased from a crossed the table. Grace stuck out her tongue and smiled. Meredith winks at her at her seat next to her. What the rest didn't know, was that Meredith taught her to play when she was seven.

"I'll see you and raise you...150!" Christina says to Callie.

"She must have a good one!" Meredith says. She did. She had a ten and a queen and the river was Ace, King, joker and a six.

"I fold!" Alex and Burke say in unison and Alex throws his cards down, he only had a pair of six's. They all laugh.

"Me too, Grace declares, pushing her cards over to George who was the dealer. She knew she was going to loose anyway.

"I mine as well too." Meredith folds.

"And me." Izzie says getting up. "I'm done for good."She goes and sits on Alex's lap.

"Guess it's just you and me O'Malley." Christina grins at Callie no longer keeping her poker face cause she knew she had is in the bag.

"Show em." George says. Callie goes first with three of a kind, kings. Christina throws her's down in victory.

"Royal Flush!" She screams.

"What's going on in here?" Every one turns but Christina who is pulling the huge pot to her side of the table. Derek shrugs off his coat and hangs it on the hook. He then walks over to the table behind Grace. He places his hands on her shoulders. She looks up at him smiling.

"Christina just beat the shit out of Callie in poker." Alex says. "Pull up a chair. You can play for Izzie." Derek sits down and the cards are dealt.

They all put in small bets. George puts out the flop. Derek sneaks a peek at his cards, starting it off with a pari of aces. He checks it to Meredith who's beside him, Grace on his other side. He's in between his two favorite women. Meredith bets fifty. Derek gives her a look but she keeps her poker face. The next card is out and Derek still has a pair of aces. Everyone bets and he puts in a black chip, hundred. Meredith looks at her cards. She also puts in a black chip. A sly look on her face. All is done in silence. They can all see the competition growing between Meredith and Derek and they all make a silent pact. Third card dealt. Nothing for Derek but he bets fifty anyway.

Callie folds. Followed by Burke. Alex stays in and just throws in a twenty five chip. fourth card. Derek now has three aces. He throws in both a red and black chip, one fifty. Meredith sees him and raises a hundred. Grace folds looking at her mother. Alex folds also. Christina sighs after looking at her own cards and folds.

It's just Meredith and Derek. Last card to be dealt. It's a king. They both bet black chips a last time before nodding an agreement to show. Derek goes first. Three aces. He looks pleased with himself. Meredith stays serious as she shows. A flush.

"Aww!" They all say triumphantly, they were silently rooting for Mer. Derek stands up, defeated and kicked in the ass as he was, he still shook her hand. They stared at each other longer then they should have.

"Good... game." Derek stammers.

"Not so bad yourself." Meredith smiles at him and gives his hand an affectionate squeeze. Derek hides his pleasure. He's been waiting for this kind of contact, small as it was.

"I have some news!" Callie say standing up, she then looks at George and smiles at him. "We...have some news!" She holds George's hand, he gives it a squeeze.

"Well lets have it!" Grace says impatiently. Everyone laughs.

"George and I are going to have a baby!" Callie screams. Christina's mouth was the first to drop.

"Well damn!" She yells. She was smiling though. "What a freaking coincidence!"

"What?" Everyone turned in her direction.

"Sorry Callie...I don't mean to take your spot light." She looks so uneasy now.

"It's okay, to nights a night of great news!" Callie walks over to Christina and hugs her.

"in that case." Izzie says. Everyone is now looking at her. "Alex and I decided we want to have children." Meredith hugs Izzie and Callie **and** Christina.

"All of our kids will grow up together." Callie says. She sits down on the couch with George. Everyone then looks at Meredith and Derek. Grace just watches.

"No news here..." Meredith says. "How about cake?" She tries to get everyone on a new topic. She and Derek aren't anything.

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Meredith sat on the front porch of George's house sipping a martini. She needed some fresh air. Grace is inside talking to the girls and the men are talking about..surgeries she guesses. She remembers back to the poker game. She doesn't know what brought her to do that. It was only minor. She guesses it was hope. Hope that things would change between them. It wasn't all her either. He's been giving her that look of his all night. She's missed that look.

She sips her martini. A change form her usual tequila. But it was good. The night is cool and there's not a cloud in the sky. She can see the stars. _There are so many of them_. She thinks to herself. A crisp breeze settles in and she hugs herself for warmth. She wishes she grabbed her jacket. She could go in and get it but she doesn't feel like getting up.

" I thought you might be cold." It's Derek. She turns to see him holding her jacket. She smiles at him.

"Thank you," she says quietly. Silence.

"How are you Mer?" It's a completely harmless question. Meredith sighs.

"I'm...lonely..." She admits.

"What about Grace? And the others?" He didn't seem to get it at first. Meredith laughs slightly. The he gets it. "What about me?"

"What about you?" She snaps. He's taken aback. "Sorry." she then apologizes.

"Don't...don't apologizes."

"I donno, I've been alone for so long..."

"You don't have to be." He's looking at her now. Longing in his eyes.

"I know...and I want what's best for Grace...and what she needs is a father." Meredith looks him in the eyes. She's sees understanding in those deep blue ones that are looking back at her. "And then I see you with her...she really loves you." Loves. It was true. Grace has gotten quite attached to Derek.

" I love her to..." He says. He looks down at the sidewalk.

"Derek?"

"Yes Mer?"

"Do you...I mean.." She didn't know what else to say.

"I care about you Meredith...deeply actually. I never stopped"

**Wow...this one is longer. I've been working on it all day. Haha. Well I'd type for a while and then get kicked off the computer. Happened about six times. So, I hope you liked it! Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for all the reviews they are much appreciated! Have fun readying!**

Where the heart is

Meredith felt as if she where floating. Derek truly cared for her. It was later that night. She's been home for an hour or two and couldn't fall asleep. She couldn't stop thinking abut him. The way he looked at her, his smile...she felt like a giddy highschool girl with a crush. Only this wasn't a crush, she was in love. She knows she always has been. Even though she locked those feelings away so well, she even convinced herself. But all it took was one look in that man's eyes and she was falling all over again. This time, she knows he will be there to cath her. And that is good enough.

Grace was tired so they had left a little early. Meredith and Derek were sitting on the front porch when Grace had come out to say she wanted to go home. Meredith had told her she'd be right in and that they would go. Derek had been starring at her the whole time. He took her hand in his before she got up to go inside. He gave it an affectionate squeeze that meant so much to her. She had kissed him on the cheek and had gone inside to say goodbye to everyone else.

Her feelings have gone haywire since then. She doesn't know what to do now. Part of her wants to jump right into it, and the other part is telling her to go slow. To take her time. But she's been alone for so long, she doesn't know if she'll be able to control herself. And that scares her. She's not afraid of him like she was ten years ago. She knows he would never hurt her like her did. Now there is nothing holding him back, and she knows it.

Now, like I said before, she is home. She's sitting at the kitchen table staring off into space. She's alone, Grace went to bed. She was tuckered out form to nights events. The number 12:32pm shown on the clock on the far wall. She wasn't the least bit tired.. In fact, she wanted to go somewhere, she didn't know where but she felt like she needed to be doing something. Meredith stared at the clock and then decided to go out somewhere. She walked into Grace's room.

"Honey?"

"Mm?" Grace stirred under her covers.

"I'm going to go out for a bit...okay? Be back later."

"Uh huh." Grace turned over in her covers and drifted off again. Meredith stood in the doorway looking at her wonderful daughter as she slept soundly. She was so peaceful. _Time to get you a father. _She thinks as she shuts the door quietly behind her.

Meredith takes in a deep breath as her car rolls up his driveway. She parks it and sits in the car, staring at the trailer. The lights are on inside...but she doesn't know if he is awake. Meredith sighs and finally steps out of the car. The door shuts behind her and se walks through the grass and onto his tiny front porch. She knocks on the door. She hears the faint sound of one of the dogs and sees Chances head peek out through the window. He then disappears and she then hears footsteps.

Derek opens the door with a creek of the hinges. When he sees her he is surprised and then his smile appears. He looks back into his trailer and then back at her. They decide to sit outside. Chance and Ruby follow him as he grabs a jacket and returns outside.

"Hey." Meredith says quietly.

"Hey." Derek responds, he's staring at her.

"I...I couldn't sleep so.."

Yeah, me either..." They both sit on the picnic table, staring at the ground. No one knows what to say or are afraid of what will happen if they say what's on their mind. "Meredith?" Derek asks, he looks up at her profile.

Meredith turns her head towards him, catching the glint in his eyes. "Hmm?"

"I miss you..." he says solemnly.

"I'm right here." She says, afraid to admit what she knows he means.

"I..I miss us, I miss us so much Mer, it hurts...I thought maybe I could move on after you left but..." He trails off looking away.

"It's been to long." She agrees. She takes his hand. Derek looks at her once again. "What's going to happened?" her voice is so low he can hardly hear.

"What?" He's confused.

"With us." She moves so she's fully facing him. He looks at her and smiles.

"That's the beauty of it." he says. They just look at each other. She can see that look he has and she can no longer can contain herself. She leans foreword quickly and captures his mouth in hers. He responds right away and the kiss deepens. Suddenly her hands are on his face and his hands are snaking through her hair.

They break apart. He leans his head on her forehead, noses almost touching. They are smiling at each other.

"My heart as always been with you." she says. She kisses him once more, remembering what it feels like to be close to some one, to him. The man she's always loved. The man whose her heart is.

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Grace woke up to those sound of her mother singing in the kitchen. She faintly remembers her mother going out lat night. But she did come back within the hour. She wonders where she went. Grave did see the spark of an old flame between her mother and Derek last night. She got so excited she was surprised she slept all night.

Grace walks down the hall to the kitchen and leans on the entryway. He mother is making breakfast and singing what appears to be the song _Sway._

"Like a flower bending in the breeze, Bend with me, sway with ease." Her mother spun around the kitchen as she popped toast into the toaster. Grace had to suppress a giggle. Then when her mother spun around again she noticed her and immediately stopped. A look of embarrassment now evident. Grace shook her head an laughed. She took a seat at the table.

"You seem happy today." Grace inquired looking at her mother with a grin.

Meredith smiled. "I made eggs and toast.' She placed a plate in front of Grace. "So, it's Sunday I have the day off, what do you want to do?" She sits down with her own plate.

"Derek is off today...can we do something with him?" Grace too a leap. Meredith never goes anywhere or does anything wit the two of them.

"Like what?" Meredith asked, unfazed. Grace was surprised.

"I donno.." Grace eats a mouthful.

"Well call him up and ask him." Meredith says getting up from the tale to get the phone. Grace looks at her strangely. He mother is acting strange. She's never seen her like this before. Whatever it was, she liked it. She's never seen her mother so...she doesn't even know how to describe it.

"Okay mom, what happened?" Grace accuses. Her mouth metaphorically drooling for some details.

"What are you talking about?" Meredith asks innocently

"You know what I'm talking about. UH! You went to his house didn't you!" Grace is getting excited now. Meredith looks guilty.

"I kissed him." Meredith says to her daughter.

"What does this mean?" Grace asks pushing her plate aside. She no longer cares about breakfast, only on her mothers happiness.

"I donno!" Meredith is smiling so broadly. " go ahead and call him up, we don't want to waste the day away!"

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It's later that day and Derek is with Grace and Meredith. They are out back by the lake. Ruby is sitting under a tree with Grace while Chance in the water fetching a stick. Meredith and Derek are sitting under another tree a few feet away. Meredith has her head on Derek's shoulder

. Derek takes in deep breath, inhaling the scent of lavender. He takes her hand in his. He massages her knuckles. As of last night, these two are officially a couple. Derek has never been happier. Meredith leans her head to the side and looks at him. He smiles down at her. The best part about being long lost lovers is that it's never to early to say I Love You. And that is something said every half hour. Derek believes that this will move quickly. He already knows that he wants to marry her.

"Derek?" Meredith asks.

"Uh huh?" He answers back, looking out at the lake.

"I'm glad I have you."

"And I you." he says kissing her head. "I'm so glad I have both of you."

"We needed you for so long." Meredith leans forward and turns toward him. He kisses her and brings her into a hug.

"We've all needed each other." She nods in agreement. They here a huge splash and the sound of Grace's laughter. They both look over to see chance chasing a duck. Derek look at Grace, and then at Meredith. This is all he's ever wanted. This is all he will ever need.

"Chance no! Stop!" They look over to see chance shaking the water off his shaggy fur and onto Grace. She is laughing all the while and these two smile at the scene. They are like a happy family. It's funny how things work out.

"So, what's the plan?" Meredith suddenly asked. She's standing up now and has her hand reaching out for him to take. Derek takes it.

"Well...We build a house, right here." He grins from ear to ear at the look on Meredith's face. "And then...I guess, we will eventually get married and have a family together." They start walking and Meredith is just staring.

"Oh really?" Meredith says teasingly. She raps her arms around his waste and kisses his cheek.

"Really."

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The sound of a baby is heard in the other room. Izzie gets up off the couch and goes down the hall and into the babies room. She bends down over the cribs and picks up the five month old. She and Alex are great parents. Alex was a bit skeptical at first but he got some great advice form George who already was a father. But Alex is doing great. He does his fair share of diaper changes and midnight feedings.

"Sh., mommy's here, sh.." Izzie rocks the baby in her arms and figures he wants his bottle. She carries him out of the room and into the kitchen. She starts to fix a bottle when the doorbell rings. "Come in!" she yells. Surprisingly the baby doesn't keep screaming. She hears the door open and in comes both Callie and a very pregnant Meredith. Meredith is almost to the nine months point of her pregnancy. She and Derek got married a year ago. They also moved into the house that was built in place of Derek's Trailer. That was just recently. Grace is now almost twelve. She is the happiest girl Meredith has ever seen. Grace has this huge family that supports her. She is also a huge help with all the babies.

Callie has the twins in a scroller. George almost fainted when he found out they were having twins. Also because Callie neglected to mention that twins run in her family. But George is a great father. He loves his kids so much.

"Thank you so much Izzie." Callie says. She takes the twins out of the stroller and sets them in the playpen in the living room. Lilly has hair like her father while Jason has black hair like Callie.

"It's no problem, you know I love watching Lilly and Jason."

"Plus she has me." Meredith says sitting down in a chair very slowly. Meredith isn't allowed to work anymore and Izzie has the day off. So they are both watching all the kids. Which means Christina should be here with Stephan any minute. Stephan is just a little older then Lilly and Jason. He's walking and talking now, while the others are just starting to take their first steps. Then there is little Ethan. Izzie is giving him is bottle right now. Ethan had a head of blonde hair.

"Yeah, Ethan just woke up before you guys came in, I was hoping he'd sleep a little longer but he always gets his way." Izzie says leaning on the counter, She's feeding him his bottle, a spit up blanket draped over her arm. They all knew that Izzie would fit as the mommy type. They all have, even Christina believe it or not.

"He's like his Father." All three women turn their heads to see Christina standing in the doorway. with Stephan at her side. He has short black hair like his father and very tan skin. He's holding his mothers hand. All the women laugh. Callie takes Stephan's hand and leads him to the living room where the twins are. Callie returns a minute later.

Christina and Burke are set on just Stephan. He's the perfect kid to them and that's all they need. Christina jumped right into motherhood when she had him. She sometimes wonders if it would have been like that if she had not lost that baby during her internship.

"Well I have a few minutes so I'll just sit." Callie sits next to Meredith.

"I still have half an hour, I could have come later but Stephan wanted to come. He kept saying "babies". Which they all know that he wants to be with all his friends. The women smile at such cuteness and settle down at the table. All with children all great surgeons in different surgical fields. It was amazing. Ethan spits up and Izzie wipes it up with the blanket. She then places him in his highchair. All of them have four sets of highchairs for when they babysit all the kids. They will soon have to get another one for Meredith's. Meredith is having another girl. She's unsure of what to name her. Se's letting Derek name this one.

"Ah guys!" Everyone turns to see Meredith, her face screwed up in pain.

"Meredith?" Izzie walks over to her friend.

"Oh man I think she's ready!" Callie jumps up from the table." Meredith is breathing in and out in and out.

"Christina, call the Hospital, let them and Derek know we are coming." Christina gets right on it. "Meredith just take deep breaths." Meredith does as she is told.

"I'll stay here with the kids for now, just keep me posted." Callie says looking from Meredith to Izzie.

"Okay..Meredith come on, we have to get you into the car." Meredith nods and they all help her out of the chair and down the hall to the door. Ethan looks after them with Bewilderment.

**Sorry I'm speeding this up but I couldn't think of anything else for the prescient. Plus I had so many Ideas for the Future. So what do you guys think?**


	10. Chapter 10

Futures

The futures holds a lot of promise. A lot of sadness, happiness, faith...but above all Hope. It's the one thing we all seem to hold on to. Through everything hope is something we all have. So it as no surprise when Meredith gave birth to Derek's first child, that he would name her after the very thing he and Meredith share. It was hope that brought them together again. So when the black haired baby with piercing blue eyes was born. Derek named her Hope.

Hope was small for her age. She was born three weeks early on November 11.They are all not to much older then one another. Grace is way older by ten years. But then follows with Stephan. Just two months older then Lilly and Jason. Stephan born August 30th, Lilly and Jason October 5th. Then there is Ethan, nine months later in July the 26th. And since Meredith became pregnant while Izzie was between her 6th and 7th month mark of Pregnancy, Hope was born in November. She's the youngest of them all.

All of them they believe will be siblings together. They will go through everything together and will most liking, because surgeons blood runs thickly though their veins, will go to Medical school together. And Grace. Will lead them all. She's the oldest by at least ten years. She will help guide them on their way to greatness. When she looks at them she likes to guess their professions. She thinks Lilly will be a Pediatric Surgeon. Jason an Orthopaedic Surgeon like his mother. Stephan will follow in the Cardiac surgeons field like his parents. Ethan will be a plastic surgeon seeing as he loves to mold stuff with playdow. And No she doesn't think of inserting bigger boobs but trauma patients. (Gees guys). Hope, she's not so sure yet. She's only just been born. She knows that she herself will be in neurosurgery. Maybe Hope will follow suit.

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"She looks just like you Derek." Meredith says looking down at her beautiful bundle. Hope as a thick mass of black hair. Her eyes are closed and she is sleeping. Her tiny ineffectual fists clenched, one around Meredith's finger. Derek kisses Meredith's forehead and down at his daughter.

"Now we are a family. All I have to do it adopt Grace." He says. He's smoothing down Meredith's honey hair. She looks up at him and smiles. She's got everything she's ever wanted. Hope opens her tiny mouth and yawns. Meredith can smell that sweet scent of baby. One she remembers from when Grace was born. And she's so soft. She can't help but grace her fingers over her small fingers. She looks at her tiny nose and arms and legs and ears. She is just a tiny person. Brand new and untouched by life.

"She's so adorable." Grace walks in and touches her sisters hand gently. "And look at that hair." She looks at Derek and ruffles his. He laughs at her and brings her into a hug. They look back at Meredith an Hope. Hope opens her eyes. She's got those deep blue piercing eyes of Derek. There is no doubt in anyone's mind that this is his daughter. Hope looks at them all, curiousness setting in. She then closes her eyes once again and falls asleep.

"Come on kiddo, you mom needs her rest."Derek says to Grace. He kisses Meredith again on the forehead, places his hand gently on Hope's little head and leads Grace out of the room. They start walking down the hallway to the waiting room. No one was aloud to see Meredith yet and wont be able to since she is now sleeping.

They come up to everyone else. It's a mass of faces. Callie had finally come down half an hour after Meredith was brought in. The waiting room was full of strollers. Ethan was sleeping in Izzie's arms Alex wasn't there, he must have gone to get coffee for Izzie. Stephan was asleep in Christina's lap. Burke was holding Stephan's hand. Callie and George where sitting in seats next to each other. Jason was hanging over the side of his stroller with his head on George's lap. Lilly was awake. Derek stopped to look at the scene, it was comical and touching at the same time. He had all these friends, his Family.

George looked up to see Derek and Grace standing there, "How are they?" He asks./

"Sleeping, she's really tired." Grace says Grace walked over to Lilly and picked her up. She was the only one who didn't seem to be tired. Grace held her close to her. She treated her like she was her sister. She's been the only girl for a while. Grace treats them all like siblings. Now she has her own but will never stop treating any of them any different.

"Grace? Come over here for a minute, I want to talk to you." Derek said.

"Hold on dad," Yeah she's started calling him dad. It brings a smile to his face every time. Grace hands Lilly over to Callie and goes with Derek down the hall.

"I've been thinking. Now that we are a family now...and we have Hope...I want to adopt you, make you officially my daughter." Derek says. He's unsure of what her answer will be so he's nervous.

Grace hugs him tight, "that's the greatest idea." She says into his shirt. He hugs her tighter to him and smooths down her hair. He kisses her forehead after letting go and they head to the cafeteria.

Grace will now be a Shepherd. Even though her mother married him and took on his last name, she wasn't his daughter. So now she will be known as Grace Shepherd. It sounds nice to her. And her sister is Hope Shepherd. So many Shepherds.

Meredith didn't fall asleep right away she just laid there combing her fingers lightly through her new daughter's mass of hair. It's funny. People will look at the four of them and think that they all don't look the same. Because Grace looks just like Meredith, and Hope like Derek. No traces of the other parent. But that's what makes them, them. Because if **you **were to look at them, you'd know that they were a family. Looks down mean a thing. But if you do think about it. A lot of kids look like just one parent and still have the blood of the other parent in their veins. It's all how you process it.

Meredith smiles at the thought of all her friends and their kids. They are like her kids too. They all take care f each other and treat each others children like their own. It's one big happy Surgical family. There is no doubt in her mind that they will all grow up to be like their parents. Follow in the foot steps of greatness.

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First day of highschool. Stephan his rushing around his room trying to get ready when he hears the door open downstairs.. He quickly jumps into a pair of clean jeans and throws on a T-shirt. He then swings is knapsack over his shoulder and thumps down the stairs to see Lilly and Jason sitting at the table. His Father is placing a plate of pancakes in front of them.

"Don't forget me pops." he says a little out of breath as he sits down next to Jason.

"Hello you two." Christina says walking into the room. She's got a fresh pair of scrubs in her hand. Preston hands her a mug of coffee and kisses her good morning.

"Hey mom, early surgery?" Stephan asks through a mouthful of pancake.

"You bet." Christina ruffles his hair and sips her coffee. "I'll see you all later." She says leaving the room, she goes to open the door and Ethan runs in. "Ethan's here!" She yells before closing the door behind her.

"Hey man. And Lilly." Ethan says to the three of them. He throws his knapsack onto the floor beside him. He sits down a crossed from Jason. Preston gives him a plate and digs in.

"You parents couldn't come in?"

"Nope, Dad had a surgery and mom had to deliver a baby." Ethan gulps down his orange juice.

"Oh yeah, Meredith says Hope needs us to pick her up." Lilly remembers. She gets out of her chair and puts her plate in the dishwasher. Preston doesn't have to be in until noon and he guesses Derek and Meredith are busy.

"Uh huh." Jason says also remembering.

"Okay, finish up and we'll go get her." Grace is younger then all of them but is going into highschool with them. Derek and Meredith thought she'd want to go to school with them all at the same time so they put her into kindergarten early.

They all finish up breakfast and put on their knapsack's and head out the door. They drive to Hope's house. She's waiting on the porch when they pull up. She gets into the van next to Lilly in the back seat. The boys are in they way back..

"Nice outfit where'd you get it?" Lilly asks Hope when she sits down and buckles up.

"Kohls. Mom and I went shopping yesterday." Hope answers. Hope had her black hair down and straightened. She was wearing a cranberry long sleeved shirt. The sleeves drooping down longer then normal sleeves. They had a vine pattern on them. She wore a dark pair of blue flairs with the patter snaking up one pant leg. "Not so bad yourself." she then says, commenting on Lilly's choice of clothes.

"Thanks, JC Penny's." She smiles. Lilly is wearing a baby blue V-neck shirt with a white long sleeves shirt underneath. Her pants were blue jean flairs with a silver chain hanging from both side pockets. She was also wearing a black belt.

They pulled up to the highschool and everyone got out. Preston wished them al luck on their fist day as being freshman. He then left them there on the curb.

"Ready?" Jason asked, looking at them all.

"Ready." The other two boys said in unison. The girls looked at each other and giggled.

"Ready."

Later on that day Lilly and Hope are sitting down to lunch. They all have the same lunch and each of them has at least one class together. They were all afraid they'd be split up.

"Grace called me last night." Hope says happily.

"How is she?" Lilly asks. She take's a drink of her perpel water.

"Very good, she says she starts her internship tomorrow."

"For real?" Jason says. He sits down a crossed from his sister.

"Yep!"

"Seattle Grace I hope." Ethan sits down next to Jason as he says it.

"She said she wouldn't have it any other way." Hope bites into her salad.

"So she gets to help one of our parents with surgeries?" one of them asks her.

"Uh huh." She answers. Stephan finally shows up and sits down next to her.

"What are you guys talking about?" He asks.

"Hope was saying that Grace starts her Internship tomorrow." Lilly informs.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." Hope answers with a laugh.

"Freaken awesome." Ethan puts in. They all laugh.

"That is going to be us someday." Jason says dreamily. They all go silent, dreaming about the day they go off the medical school, and then the day they become surgical interns at Seattle Grace Hospital. A dream not to far out of this world for any of them.

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Jason pulls up to a parking space and looks next to him and then to the back seat.

"Ready?" He asks. Lilly and Hope nod and they get out of the car. It's a sunny day in Seattle. So different from the usual rain. The three of them wait as two motor cycles drive up together and park next to the three of them. The helmets come off to reveal the handsome face's of Stephan and Ethan. They all smile at each other. Excited fr what the day will bring for them.

"You all ready?" Ethan asks them.

"I know I am," Stephan tucks his helmet under his arm. The girls nod. They all walk away from their cars and start walking. When they get to the entrance they all link arms and walk into Seattle Grace Hospital arm in arm.

They all take the elevator to the second floor and go into the locker room. They change into their light blue scrubs. They all like the feeling of them on their bare skin as they slide into them. These scrubs will be their new attire. They will be of new importance to them for the next year.

"Who've you go?" A guy asks from beside Hope. Lilly, Jason, Stephan and Ethan all pop their heads out from their lockers.

"Shepherd." The five of them say in unison.

"Really? I have Bailey." He says shutting his locker and walking away.

"Miranda Bailey's Bailey?" Lilly asks. Hope nods. They all shut there lockers almost at the same time and walk out of the locker room together. They don't know where to find their resident so Stephan asks a near by doctor.

"Do you know where we can find Dr. Shepherd?" He asks.

"Which one?" the doctor replies.

"The She-Shepherd." Ethan asks getting impatient.

"Again, which one." the doctor asks.

"The resident." Hope asks. The doctor points over his shoulder towards the nurses station All five heads turn. Standing there in all her glory, is Grace Shepherd.

**THE END! **

**So, you can all guess what they all become. It's kind of obvious. I had so much fun writing this for all of you Grey's Anatomy fans! You guys are the best! Tell me what you think!**


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